Eden smiled to himself as he walked around the regions that were still called Pangaea. He couldn't believe how much weight had been lifted off of his shoulders by the simple act of giving up a small piece of land, into someone else's protection. 'Maybe some other's would like to help me out in the same way?' He thought to himself, hoping. The world was a pretty lonely place.
Eden walked toward the eastern region of Pangaea and found him vision flicking toward the sky, as if by instinct. His draw dropped as a Swellow plummeted from the sky, aiming directly for him. Eden froze- 'How many times have I battled other Pokémon? And this time, I choose not to do anything to defend myself!?' He chided himself mentally, trying desperately to shake feeling back into his body. The Swellow dove at him, using Peck and the little Pichu cried out, swaying desperately as he tried to dodge the next attack. The Swellow used steel wing, managing to hit Eden's back. Eden staggered slightly, biting down on his lip, and turned to use Thunder wave. The attack missed.
"Hey, you! STOP THAT!" the shout, the voice, it all sounded warped to the battered young Eden. He looked past the Swellow and saw a Pichu, even smaller than himself.
"No…" Eden mumbled desperately as the Swellow turned towards its new target. "No…" he forced his body to use the last of its energy, but barely managed a spark before toppling over. He watched helplessly as the other Pichu used blizzard, and then everything went black.
Eden groaned, slowly opening his eyes. "W...where am I?" He murmured, his voice hoarse, he tried to blink away the spots of light that appeared in his field of vision.
"You're in my home…" a gentle whisper came from the shadows. The Pichu he had seen fighting for his life stepped out of the shadows, smiling. "I'm sorry I didn't help you sooner." She said softly, looking downcast, "But I have cleaned your wounds, So you should recover soon"
Eden stared at the Pichu, she looked sweet and innocent, nothing like the Pichu that could take down a level 50 Swellow. He suddenly felt weak, his head spinning. The Pichu ran quickly to his side, "Alright, alright Mr. World. Just go back to sleep." A sweet scent filled the air as Eden's consciousness faded once more.
When he awoke for a second time, he found the other Pichu busying herself, crushing Oran berries. She held the bowl out to him, "Eat some of this, it should help." She smiled.
It did. Before too long, Eden was on his feet again, shaking the other Pichu's paw heartily. "Thank you so much. If you hadn't come along, I'd be bird food. My name is Eden." The other Pichu smiled sweetly. "Rosemary. And it's really no problem- the thought of someone being hurt makes me want to…" Rosemary began to tear up. Eden patted her on the back gently.
"Rosemary, I was wondering… uh…" Eden began, scuffing the floor with a paw, "Would you like to… Would you like to protect, own, and represent this piece of land. I'll break it away from the mainland and-"
"Stop." Rosemary placed a paw on Eden's chest. "I don't want to be an island. I like having other places to go to. But if I can be a country without breaking away, then yes, I would love to." Rosemary's serious demeanour broke into a grin. Eden returned her grin,
"I'll set the border then." He smiled, calling Moltres. His Thunder Wave attacks set static-filled borders around the land, "I proclaim this area to belong to you, Rosemary. Guard it and fight for it like you fought for me! This country is now called Nepal!" he shouted above the wing beats of his partner. "Don't let me down, Rose!" Rosemary saluted him and replied,
"No sir, I will fight for this land with my life!"
The story so far is well written and has no grammar msitakes plus it really shows the effort and the ideas well used and well placed in the story.
Characters you write about shows how deep the story will be but you need to also kinda intro them with some description not only of personality but of appearance.
Overall story is another rgeat prologue for a written story and so far you allow readers to get deeper into story.
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